Sunday, December 12, 2010

Blow Me!

Candace

I'm thinking of ending all future BBWF posts with the phrase "Day #(insert number here) without a blow job." I would give you the number of days since my last lollipop, but I honestly can't even remember the last time Ms. Chuck took me into her mouth. I have finally come to the realization that I will be spending rest of my life with a woman (albeit a beautiful, intelligent, sexy woman) who just doesn't like sucking dick.

Porsche

Don't misinterpret this, I'm not putting my baby on blast here. She's by far the best lover I've ever had. Which brings to mind another question: Can a person be the best lover of your life if they neglect one of your most important needs? And if a person from your sexual past did one specific thing really really well in the sack... like fellatio, for example... does that automatically make them the better lover? I won't dwell on those questions, but I really wish my Lady would go oral on me more often. Again, Ms. Chuck doesn't suck in the sack (bad choice of words on multiple levels, I know), she's actually pretty dirty when she wants to be and she gets pretty unruly if she goes too long without getting fucked, I just want my dick sucked. By a woman who WANTS to suck it. I'm allowed to say that, right?

Amber

I know that someone will read this and suggest that I should simply ask for what I want. This is a good idea, and I have thought about this. And I will do it eventually. My baby always aims to please, and a little gentle coaching and honest communication always pays off. If I go to Ms. Chuck and say "Hey Ms. Chuck (yes, that's what I call her at home), I'd really appreciate it if you wrapped those big pouty lips around my dick tonight," I'm sure I would be getting my wish within seconds. But I don't want that. I want this woman to come over to me, jump in front of the TV, or take my Macbook away, or snatch my Blackberry out of my hands (you get the picture, interrupt my little boring ass life), remove her top, strip my bottom half, and suck the life out of me. I want her to understand that this would drive me wild, that this is what I want. WITHOUT ME TELLING HER.

Francesca

"Well, Chuck, how the fuck is she supposed to know this?" Really? Women don't know this?? They don't know that we love getting our cock smoked? Women could give BJs in lieu of Christmas and birthday gifts every year and no man would complain. Sheesh! Dudes pay hundreds of dollars everyday just to have a broad do this to them!

Simone

Sorry, I'll stop shouting. I am beginning to understand that Ms. chuck is just not that into the penis. I mean, she likes the way it feels inside of her, but she clearly doesn't find it very aesthetically pleasing. I happen to think my dick is rather nice, I've even been told as much in the past (There's actually a pic of it on the interwebs. A fictional prize goes to the person who finds it). Hell, If I was a chick, I'd suck it.

Pink Kandi

While I wait for Ms. Chuck to come across some article in Cosmo or to see some "real housewife" broach the subject and wake up, I have gathered some great shots of beautiful ladies on the job. Hope you enjoy.

April

Emma

Dawn

Dani

Carly

Simone again (from her latest Plumperpass shoot, which is awesome)


Jane

Sapphire


I welcome your suggestions for my little issue, but please, I'm not gonna simply tell her about it, at least not yet, I want her to just "get it," to get me. And no, I'm not gonna give any subtle or not so subtle hints like pushing her head south. And yes, my balls are clean. I need to know how to get a woman to want to please me in that way, if that's possible at all. And I will be counting the days for the duration of this blow job drought, and I will keep you updated.

Later, kids.

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