Thursday, September 9, 2010

BBWF's NFL Preview

The Shield

It's finally time to neglect our families and other priorities and escape into the world of professional football. I once again have that football boner, and the dark cloud that is the football off-season, as well as the boredom of watching inferior sports (I'm looking at you, Major League Baseball), has finally been lifted.

People, football is better than porn, so every so often you will see a post about it here, and today we'll pass along BBWF's thoughts about the upcoming NFL season. I won't go through a list of predictions for teams' chances of winning, though you will get our Super Bowl matchup. I will merely share some of the things that I think will happen in 2010. We'll give three predictions, look at some of the intriguing games from week 1, and the aforementioned Super Bowl pick. And of course, there will be porn...

Roxy (If not for problems in the secondary, I might be picking her Ravens to win it all)


Aaron Rodgers will officially emerge as one of the NFL's elite quarterbacks. Last year eradicated any shred of doubt that the Packers' decision to part ways with old man Favre was the right move. The young, confident signal caller from Cal has shown any naysayers in Wisconsin and all over the league that he is tough enough mentally and physically to make it. He has done what QBs in Miami, Denver, and San Francisco have been trying to do for years, follow a legend, and Rodgers has done it successfully. He has become the new face of the Packers and has earned the respect of his coaches, teammates, and Packers fans, fans who are some of the most knowledgeable in the NFL.

This is one cool motherfucker. Rodgers never looks rattled or nervous on the field, takes hits without flenching, and throws the ball more accurately than most veterans at his position. Look for him to join the ranks of the very best quarterbacks in the league this year, and maybe even get the MVP award. With Rodgers' obvious leadership skills, along with the preponderance of talent surrounding him on the field, we will be saying his name in the same breath with Manning, Brady, and Brees by season's end, and don't be surprised if the Lombardi trophy finds itself among the cheese heads once again.

Candy (Her Titans have a defense that will make them dangerous, but I think they miss the playoffs once again... oh, and fuck the Titans) Candy's site is fucking awesome, by the way.

Jacoby Jones, One of the reasons the Texans will (WILL) make the playoffs in 2010.

The Houston Texans will make the playoffs. Sport Illustrated's Peter King predicted that the Texans will miss the playoffs again this season. Therefore, Peter King is a fucking moron. King is not alone in his prediction, and it is based on some pretty sound logic, I admit. But the AFC is just too hard to call at this point, and a team as talented as the Houston Texans is not a team that can be counted out in September. And if you're thinking that this year's Texans will be the same losers they've always been, well you can pop on your Dunce cap and join King and the other idiots in the corner. Did I mention that I'm a Texans fan, and I'm wearing a Texans t-shirt even as I type this?

My prediction is not based purely on emotion and fan loyalty, however. I think with the emergence of Arian Foster, (how could a Black person name their child Arian?? That's just stupid. Sorry.) the Texans now have a running game to add balance to one of the best passing attacks in football. They now can do something that the good teams do consistently: score touchdowns in the red zone. And I believe their defense will continue to improve even during the first four weeks when they are without star linebacker and last year's top defensive rookie, and yes, likely steroid user, Brian Cushing. Take it to the bank people, the Texans will (WILL) be playing in the post-season.

Desire (Her Steelers may still be one of the best teams in the AFC, even with Big Ben's distractions)

Some anonymous Texans player. I think he's okay now.

A bunch of dudes will get injured. 2010, just like any other NFL season will see an appalling amount of injuries to many of your favorite players. Remember the heartbreak felt all over the league when Tom Brady went down in the first game of the season in 2008? Or when Carson Palmer knee was destroyed in the first playoff game a few years back? Well, this will happen again in 2010. I can't name names at this point, but I will guarantee that just when your favorite team is rolling through a win streak and looking like only a team with God at quarterback and Jesus at linebacker could stop them, some key player will twist a knee or break an arm, or become paralyzed from the waist down (yes, it can be that serious, people). This part of the NFL makes it difficult to predict winners and losers, and it makes the whole fantasy football thing that much more of a waste. And for those of you who think the season should be extended to 18 games, this is the main reason that you should shut the fuck up. Players already put their bodies through enough punishment, and two more games would only expose them to more danger. These are men, not robots who exist for your entertainment.

Kristine: This will be another long season for her Buccaneers. And that young (too young perhaps) coach will probably be shown the door.

Some intriguing week one match ups:

Texans v. Colts - I think the Texans take this one. I say this because I'm an optimistic Texan fan, of course, but I also have a sense of the urgency in this contest. The city of Houston is so tense right now that it feels like it's about to explode. This is the biggest game for us in almost a decade, and no matter what anyone may say, it's the biggest game in the history of this young franchise. Every player and every coach on that team is feeling the magnitude of this game, and they will hit the field on Sunday afternoon with the focus and determination of a team playing in a Super Bowl. I think this intensity, and the absolute madness of the Texan crowd, will overwhelm the Colts, and Houston will win by two scores.

Eagles v. Packers - A nice match up between two teams that wear green and have young exciting quarterbacks. Kevin Kolb is of particular interest to me because I was a student at Houston when he was our own personal Tim Tebow and won us the conference championship. I have mixed feelings about his ability to flourish as a starter in the NFL, especially with Mike Vick looking over his shoulder waiting for him to fail, but Kolb's success of failure will be the key to the Eagle's season. Green Bay will give Kolb a good test, and this will tell us a lot about what he is capable of. I think the Pack wins this one because they're just better, though the fact that the game is in Philly will help Kolb and his boys. The Packers win by a touchdown.

Saints v. Vikings - The NFL couldn't ask for a better way to begin the season, and I can't fucking wait for this game to start. The Vikes got their wish and the old gunslinger is once again taking snaps. They are hoping that Favre can continue what he started last year, but if the O-line can't protect him (and its preseason performance would suggest that they cannot), the team, the quarterback, and their season is totally fucked. I think Minnesota is 0-1 after tonight regardless. The atmosphere in New Orleans will be surreal for this game, (word has it that they are even letting schools out early in preparation for it) and no team could win there on a night like tonight. Saints win handily.

Dawn (Her Cowboys will have the Super Bowl in their house, but they'll have to watch it like the rest of us) Oh, and Fuck the Cowboys.

BBWF's Super Bowl Prediction: Texans v. Packers: Packers 27, Texans 13


Candy again.

Hey, remember that girl Candy the Titan fan from earlier in this post? She's hot, right? Let's watch her fuck, shall we? You really should join her site.

Dude's ass gets way too much screen time in this clip, in my opinion. You may be into that though. You never know, if a person can have a fat fetish, it's conceivable that someone could have a hairy black ass fetish. To each his own.

Okay that's it, kids. With the NFL starting tonight, along with the Auburn-Mississippi State game, I will be in football heaven this evening.

Hope you enjoy it as well.

1 comment:

  1. You just explained why I don't like CJ Wright and Mr. Marcus directed porn. "Dude, I want to see chicks, not you ass and balls!"